Dating Perils Revealed

Whitney:
In addition to Robert's queries about talking about dating while dating, I have been wondering myself about dating protocol as a concept. The issue begs questions such as:

• Timing between ice-breaking online interactions and face-to-face interactions
• Amount of personal information to divulge
• Full disclosure of where you are right now, emotionally or otherwise

I also wonder about the notorious misunderstandings that make casual dating or first-time meetings feel perilous: What about being stood up? How about follow-up dates? Who makes the first move the next day after a night out? These are basic questions for sure, but there must be some sort of etiquette (as outlined on the match website (i.e., don't come on too strong too soon, give a compliment right away, respect privacy for the sake of your mutual safety, etc)) that fleshes these circumstances out a bit more.

In actuality, I'm not really a fan of protocol or etiquette when it comes to dating. You can be sure I will be courteous and polite, and I'm (probably) not going to do any stalking. But if I like someone, I will just say so. And if I don't feel like making out with someone, but I do enjoy their company, I'll try and relay that as well, as tactfully as possible. For example, recently a guy from Oregon emailed me and wanted to chat. I wrote back to him and let him know that since he lives in OR, I'd rather pursue interests in my own city (and likely in my own Borough), and thanked him for the attention. He thanked me back, and that seems like a nice exchange. Damn time-consuming, though, and this stuff leeches time enough without all the niceties.

On a fun note, I had my first date last night. I'm a swooner, so I'm swooning, (and also because this dreamboat is worthy of my swoon) but all of it is still fraught with uncertainty about how to proceed, etc. Regardless, today I'll enjoy feeling sleepily giddy, and proceed as the mood strikes.