To Be Stroked As a Lightning...

Whitney:

Just yesterday I received two emails from two total strangers on the same site, with strikingly zero similarity. Wouldn't it be nice to morph these two fellas into one hunka burning, foreign, sensitive, forthright, earnest, hardcore love?

"Hello,
My name is [Foreign]. I saw your profile and it stroke me as a lightning. I an not very experienced at meeting people over internet (I have no experience at all), but sometimes I feel very lonely. Once I saw you I realized that not trying to write you would be like a winning lottery ticket that you never checked... Be you self-that's my credo. Please give me a try and I promise you won't be dissapointed. If it'll work out I'll be happiest man on Earth, if not At least I did my best. Impatiently waiting for your reply, F."

And his nemesis:

"begging eh?
please!!!!!!!!!!
can we have sex----chemistry permitting of course"

Oh, the vastness of humanity... I think I'm going to start playing the lottery.