Reviews...

Whitney:

Match: I find this site to be chock full of sincerely lovely people who are searching for something meaningful-- "searching" being the operative term-- but that's kind of the point. Branding- wise, the site itself is not particularly edgy, but its forthright approach is unassuming and lets you do your thing, even if your "thing" has slightly constrained innocently flirty/raunchy polarizations. I can't deny the presence of an undergirding puritanical essence, but it feels safe and seems to draw a medly of decent love-hunters.

Nerve: Naughty, sexy, feisty, demanding: A major difference from Match is that Nerve extends "play", meaning "willing to engage in (relatively) casual sweet action" as one choice for your ideal e-mate. An explicit openness to variety in sexual/relationship preferences makes being on Nerve feel like you're in on something pretty hott, something nervy, if you will. I have not been disappointed with what this site has yielded so far, though I think the navigation could be simpler.

Yahoo! Personals: Like Match, it doesn't have any especially dominating overtones with respect to the kind of crowd it wants to attract. Pretty mainstream, pretty neutral. My primary gripe involves the inanity of their choices for automatic messages: Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure sending someone a pre-written note that says "Wowie wow wow wow wow!" spells a whole lotta silence coming from the other end. I know what they're going for, and I don't use those silly excuses for communication, but still.

okCupid: I like this site a lot-- it's populated with nerdy cutie-panteses, and you get to take all sorts of member-created tests which make for some fun sideline metacognition. It purports to be able to psychologically nail you down with their onslaught of never-ending questions, resulting in "scientifically" accurate matching percentages. To wit: I went out a few times with a guy from this site who had emailed a challenge to me: Apparently okCupid had deemed us incompatible (this is science talking, mind you), and he wanted us to prove them wrong. This guy was pretty cute, and a fun date, but it turns out the OC was right. It took us a little while (and a fun while at that) to figure it out though.

Friendster: Let me say first, that I love Friendster. But in the dating context, I find it lacking. That's because matching potential mates is not its primary purpose, so the survey questions are less geared towards daters. This means that when you go on a date with a Friendster, it's a lot harder to discuss the fact that you may (or may not...) be engaging in online dating. To me, this has been a fun and important ice-breaker when meeting new people. Furthermore, you're cruising the friendster scene with married people and parents, not to mention people's household pets! (My turtle has a profile.) Anyway, I could just be biased since the only two stinky dates I've had were from this site.

Other sites I have less experience with/am less committed to. I like consumating.com, but I find lavalife frustrating. I gave up on JDate after a few weeks, and am still exploring MySpace. This dating experiment is yielding some wonderful epiphanies, lessons, and smooching sessions. More on that triumvirate soon...

Stat Shot

Whitney:
Ok, Anonymous. Here's the rundown.
The sites I am on are as follows (and next entry I'll do a site review-- good idea):

• Match.com (6) (?- too many)
• Nerve (3) (?- too many)
• OkCupid (1) (3)
• JDate (0) (1)
• Yahoo! Personals (0) (too soon)
• LavaLife (0) (0)
• Friendster (1) (5)

To be succinct, I will say that my top preferences (in no particular order) are Nerve, Friendster, OkCupid, and Match. The first number represents the number of people I've met from that site. The second number is meant to convey the number of people with whom I've experienced banter/flirtation, or more simply, potential, but haven't actually met yet.

While sites attempt to create a vibe, there are cool people and lame people on every site. For me it's been a matter of being open, being aggressive, and being neutral regarding expectations. People can surprise you. They can also rip your heart out. But no matter what, you learn something new with each person you interact with, and through this whirlwind, I've realized just how lovely, endearing, impressive, and remarkable people are.

For example, I just got home tonight from a wicked fancy dinner at Blue Ribbon sushi. This is my second date with this guy, who winked at me several times (from nerve) before I gave in (I don't know-- I found the persistence intriguing). The first date was two weeks ago, and I went somewhat reluctantly, but as it turns out, he's freaking hilarious, supremely and strikingly intelligent, and (just discovered) a spectacular kissing partner. So you just never know. That's where the openness comes in handy.

Anyway, I have lost one of last week's crushes, and one more (who wants to be my boyfriend-- I'm not up for that/not feeling it at the moment) is sputtering out. BUT, this past week I have gained three more crushes, plus this current good- smooching- surprisingly-funny hottie. I am burning through men. On occasion I become fantastically ignited. For now, I'll say that I still have the willing spark.

Zogo Shout Out

Whitney:
Has anyone tried this? "MoSoSo", which sounds like a sub-sub-neighborhood of Manhattan, means Mobile Social Software, and is a descriptor for Cellphone dating:

"It’s called Zogo. There’s a demo here. Browse for lovelies in your area (US only), view their photos / bio and invite them to be your lover. For this privilege you’ll pay $12.95 per month."

I think it's too real-timey to me, and not without a little bit of sketchiness. I mean, I recently had an (ancient-history, right?) online-dating invite from a guy asking me to meet him in the middle of the Brooklyn bridge. I told him it was my policy not to meet strangers on bridges. We're un-strangering ourselves currently, but I think I'd feel really vulnerable accepting saucy celldate solicitations.

Anyway, if anyone has tried it, please let me know. I'm curious (as usual).

The Great (Cyber) Space Coaster

Whitney:
This week I have precisely one date, quite a relief after the frenzy of dinners/drinks/flirting of late. I had wanted to tone it down, take it easy, but then, and then, and then. I happen to be quite giddy about this one though. He just seems so luminous, though maybe it's the computer-screen glow that's seeping into my psyche. Yikes.

This supercutie chef I have seen a handful of times for the last few weeks, brought along a guide to wine-tasting (a budding hobby) to our second date. In addition to it being a very thoughtful gesture, I think it's a lovely way to round out time spent with someone new-- by creating a structure for the conversation: have a chat, taste some wine, discuss. Repeat as needed. I also like the framework: we are finding--and establishing--common ground in real time. There is no thought of potential (except maybe cuddle potential); there is no consideration of the past. There is just right now. Sensational.

The chef is 1/3 of the triumvirate of crushes I have at the moment. The second third will manifest in person tomorrow night. The last third is on a trip for work in Japan, from which location he has been writing to me all week.

To coast is pleasing. Internal burgeoning is taking place. Externally I am getting my flirt on. This is precisely the way things should be at the moment.

Cuddle Potential

Whitney:
I'm trying really hard not to run out of steam. A four-date week then a five-date week during my first two weeks at work made for a bit of exhaustion. However, I must say that I'm enjoying this lightness in meeting people, where no one is trying to squeeze anyone else into the mold of their ideal human partner, whether that partnership is sexual, intellectual, short-lived or activity-based. My expectations have fallen away. I never meant to have any in the first place. I've found a comfortable pace in non-definition, where boundaries are illuminated through scheduled windows of interaction consisting of a beginning, middle, and end. Transitions between the three are marked awkwardly or exquisitely, and the ends differ from the beginnings in their softened edges.

Among the choices of interaction-type (aka, "relationship", "dating", "friends", "gettin' some") should be "casual cuddling". I know you can't do that with just anyone, but damn, it feels good. Maybe I need to get on craigslist. I hear they sponsor some great impromptu cuddle sessions. And while I search for casual cuddles, I'm going to become really buff, really good at wine-tasting, really good at making jewelry, really good at yoga, and smooth as hell at removing myself from no-cuddle-potential dating scenarios.