Some Like it Ruff

Whitney:

I was a porn star for the better part of my life, but I recently have become an attorney and am looking for a nice Jewish girl to take to temple on the high holidays. If anybody out there has any pics of dogs, please send them to me.

I don't even know where to start with this one. This is a self-profile filled with mystery, intrigue, and confusion. The dude in question also does himself the added favor of sporting a Hitler 'stache. Is he looking for his One True Fluffer? His barely legal, dog-(picture?) loving, shana punum?

May the schwartz be with you, Mr. Porno Dogman Lawyer. May the naughtiest, dirtiest, harder, faster, harder schwartz be freakin' with you.